Ooh, BURN!

First it was Senator's Webb's amazing Democratic response to the SOTU (and Nevsky, hasn't Webb done more for Virginia's image in two months than Allen's done ever?) Now, House Speaker Pelosi gets a good shot in.

When I was on the Hill on Tuesday, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL) told us (on the record) the rest of the story. Apparently, Pelosi's final come-back to the president was the following:
PELOSI: He's tried this two times — it's failed twice. I asked him at the White House, 'Mr. President, why do you think this time it's going to work?'

BUSH: Because I told them it had to.

PELOSI: Why didn't you tell them that the other two times?

Hey, I would much prefer it if Bush's small heart would grow three sizes and he'd work with the opposition party to try and have a real plan for Iraq that could do the best with a terrible situation and bring our troops home as soon as possible.

But since that won't happen, I'll take the cheap shots.

A musical intermission...

While the coffee kicks in, enjoy Michael Manring's "My Three Moons", a composition where he plays three basses simultaneously.

Great saves in parenting history...

I was reading a Rush blog because, well, because they're my favorite band, and DON'T YOU JUDGE MEsorry, sorry, anyway, I came across this snippet:

The other day on the way home from preschool, my 4-year-old says to me "Dad, I want to listen to that one song after the long song [2112]." So I crank up A Passage to Bangkok. Then he asks me what the song is about. "Trains", I say. "The song is about trains."

That gave me a chuckle, because the song...well, it's not about trains.

It also reminded me about a similar save my mother made when I was a wee lad of seven. We were watching Saturday Night Fever (oh, relax, it was the PG version) and during a scene where Annette is trying to convince Tony she's ready to have sex, she pulls out a fistful of condoms.

"Mommy, what are those?" I asked.

Without missing a beat:

"Laundry tokens."

Hey, I was seven, I bought it.

Of course, nowadays, the kids are more sophistimacated...

Now shee, hic, we need univershal healthcare because*BURRRRP*...

I'd been getting emails from Drinking Liberally for some time, but never got around to making the twenty-minute trek to Morristown (yeah, I know, lazy me). But when I got word that they were starting one in Dover, a mere hop, skip, and a jump from me, I decided I would be stupid not to go.

The two times I've went I've enjoyed myself (though this month was lightly attended due to a big New Brunswick shindig). The people are all very friendly and outgoing, we had some good political and general discussions, and we even got an appearance from our Democratic candidate for Congress Tom Wyka. (He lost, but he did very well considering this area's as red as a baboon's tuckus and the representative of our district shares his name with a freaking ARBORETUM).

But even if everything I wrote in the previous paragraph was false, the two-dollar Yuenglings were enough to assure my continued attendance.

Hey, look who crawled out of his coffin.

Looks like Vice President Repulso of the planet Disgustitron-Five slathered on some pancake makeup and went on the tube:

"He's the guy who's got to decide how to use the force and where to deploy the force," Cheney said. "And Congress obviously has to support the effort through the power of the purse. So they've got a role to play, and we certainly recognize that. But you also cannot run a war by committee."

How about just running the war according to your military leaders, like your boss promised, and not just shitcanning them when they bring ugly, messy reality into the situation?

"They have absolutely nothing to offer in its place," Cheney said of Democratic leaders. "I have yet to hear a coherent policy from the Democratic side."

*sigh* See yesterday's post for my thoughts about this bullshit meme. Just say you don't agree with it.

See, it's not just this administration has policies which I don't agree with philosophically, it's that they're incompetent. If they were right about any of the stuff they said we'd all be paying four cents a gallon from the royalty checks which every American citizen got from grateful Iraqi citizens, and then they'd at least have grounds for their comments.

But, in this universe, they should be taken as seriously as Raymond Luxury Yacht...

Let me help you out, George.

Our president wants our input.

President Bush on Saturday challenged lawmakers skeptical of his new Iraq plan to propose their own strategy for stopping the violence in Baghdad.

"To oppose everything while proposing nothing is irresponsible," Bush said.

All right, how about this, from FOURTEEN MONTHS AGO?

Or this one, which was introduced in June?

And here's about, oh, SEVENTY-NINE recommendations.

Look, you can say that alternative plans haven't been detailed, fine. Work with their submitters. But to keep saying that there's no alternative plans is a lie. These are all documented, I found them in minutes on Google, for Christ's sake, and I'm just some schmuck with an iMac, there are hundreds of brilliant people on BOTH sides offering alternatives.

You've got people who want to work with you, that's WITH you, to HELP our troops, to HELP our situation, to dig YOU out of the mess YOU created.

So what are you going to do about it?

What are you going to do about it, asshole?

About that iPhone...

Yup, I oohed and aahed when the iPhone was released, and although it's something I'd never buy save a lottery win, I definitely think it's a winner...with one misgiving.

It's not the price, sure, it's a lot, but price is one of those things you just accept from Apple, like black turtlenecks or backdating stock options. And if the iPhone operates like the simulated demos on Apple's site, then it'll be well worth the money; the technology and interface looks absolutely amazing, almost Minority Report-esque.

Here's the thing. I've dropped my cell phone. More than once. It's not like I fumble it down the stairs like a clumsy Clouseau-esque waiter, but it's taken some hits. That's not a big deal for me since my cell phone is worth about a sack of White Castles and a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

But it's another thing when your cell phone costs more than your car.

So, until I see the results of an Ars Technica smash test like they did with the iPod nano, my admiration of the iPhone and any iPhone-derived products will be from a good, safe distance.

OK, maybe it's going to be like this.

Try this on for size.

----

A president, faced with an unpopular war but unable to withdraw from it due to political concerns and fear of looking weak, announces a troop increase.

The opposition party, however, passes a resolution to cut off funding. The president vetoes the bill with grand fanfare and mass publicity, saying that although he knows the war is unpopular he'll be damned if a bunch of latte-slurping, panty-wearing, manicured metrosexuals and hairy-legged lesbos are going to endanger this great nation.

The bill goes back...but the veto is overridden. The president and his party scream that those yellow-bellied Ben and Jerrys scarfing surrender monkeys have infected enough Congresscritters with their liberal pheromones and although this plan would have ultimately succeeded he has no choice to abide by the Constitution, which he will do despite its will being subverted by a bunch of ivory-tower mushheads.

The soldiers come home, leaving Iraq a mess, which will happen anyway.

The opposition party is vilified by the media.

And in a room somewhere without video cameras, the president thanks the opposition party leaders for taking the political heat and allowing him to end the war without sacrificing his stature.

----

Yeah.

I wish.

Code blue for Jonathan Ive...

On the eve of Macworld's keynote, Wired is celebrating industrial design by showing off "a few gems of mediocrity" from the 2007 International CES. Personally, I think the animal-shaped humidifiers are winners, although the first comment on the duckie humidifier is just...wrong.

And I don't know WHAT the hell the saddles are for...

Odds and sods...

* I'm dreaming of streamlined white boxes and double-digit marketshare by 2010, which means it's Macworld time! The rumor roundup sites are all abuzzabout iPhones, iPods, and iTV, but I'm most excited about iLe...er, Leopard, the new OS. I think Boot Camp is going to be a huge selling point, although Parallels seems to be what the dual-booters are using these days.

Hmm, I managed to make the preceding sentence sound vaguely filthy...

* OK, it's a puff piece, and I'll admit my oversensitivity, but the Pelosi headline on CNN struck me as disrespectful:



I mean, she is the new House speaker. I don't recall any "Dirty Delay and the new corrupt Congress" headlines...

* If there's one thing I want from all my elected officials, it's straight talk. And I don't hear a lot of that from either side, save Howard Dean. That's why, in 2008, this country needs the one person that I can safely say will always tell it like it is.

Jim Mora.

As Pacino would say, you f***ing child...

Our president (or at least his press secretary) is dealing with Congress like Pee-Wee Herman, and I'd have preferred it if I meant whacking it in a theater, but I meant like in the TV show...

In their letter to George W. Bush today, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi laid out -- albeit briefly -- their plan for Iraq: "We believe the way forward is to begin the phased redeployment of our forces in the next four to six months, while shifting the principal mission of our forces there from combat to training, logistics, force protection and counter-terror."

The non-sequitur response from the White House? We're waiting for the Democrats to offer their plan for Iraq.

At this afternoon's press briefing, Tony Snow said that the president is willing to listen to what Reid and Pelosi have to say and that the White House will "welcome them to offer their suggestions."

For shit's sake, man, at least tell them that it's a shitty idea and they can go fuck themselves, at least you're dealing with them on an adult level, or at least a Cheney level. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going LALALALALALALALALA? What are you, six?

Between this, and the report that a change in strategy was deliberately delayed for political purposes, I'm guessing Bush has a burning desire to be hated by everyone.

Well, he's getting there.