May 28, 2006

I'm too easily starstruck to be an effective political activist.

I was driving up the New York Thruway yesterday morning on the way to my holiday vacation spot, when I noticed a lot of police cars dotting the highway. It dawned on me that President Bush was going to be the commencement speaker at West Point, so I just thought that the police were out there to make sure that any undesirables were pushed back to a safe distance.

Then, about ten minutes later, I saw the presidential motorcade coming in the other direction.

And despite my well-documented feelings about the administration policies, and my belief that most dog breeds and a few of the smarter yogurt flavors would do a better job as commander-in-chief, I broke out in a huge idiot grin and yelled out loud: "HOLY FUCK!! IT'S THE PRESIDENT!!"

I suck.

May 23, 2006

Hell, who needs all ten fingers anyway?

I got one of the more interesting pieces of junk mail I can remember today: a mailer from Sky King Fireworks. This surprised me because I live in New Jersey, where firework possession is illegal.

What I didn't know is that firework possession is also illegal in Pennsylvania, where Sky King has five stores (including Easton, just over the Jersey state line). However, they can sell fireworks provided the buyer can prove he or she is out of state.

Which strikes me as odd. I mean, if I was a police officer, and I needed to make some arrests, all I would do is follow the cars with NJ license plates out of the store. I mean, am I missing something?

The flyer states that if I buy "just $100" worth of fireworks, I get a free t-shirt. Maybe it's because I grew up where they're illegal, but $100 worth of fireworks sounds like enough to defend yourself against the incoming hordes for a good couple of days. Jeez, that's 16,000 Black Cats once you go for their buy one get one free promotion.

Maybe after I'm done shopping there, I'll stop by one of Easton's fine liquor stores for a nightcap...

May 17, 2006

Hello, everyone. Roy here.

Hi there. I just want to apologize on behalf of the meatbag. You think he's just being lazy on the blog, brother, you don't know the half of it. He says he's been busy, come on, what am I, a dog? All I know is that he listens to the new Tool album non-stop and spends a lot of time reading Kos and muttering under his breath. It's probably better he hasn't been saying anything. I mean, how many liberal rants can one cat take?

Shit, he's coming. Anyway, I'll try to get through to him. If he wants a hairball-free day, he'd better start posting...

Good night...