Jul 2, 2008

Boosting the economy...in your PANTS!!!

America has received our economic stimulus checks, and we have spoken. Hello, incredibly disgusting pornography!

An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans’ mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, “Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market.”

Really? People pay for porno? You can't tell me people have problems finding it on the Internet. Randy Marsh sure didn't. God, all I need to do is turn Google Images SafeSearch off and...ah, I'll stop before my grandma Hulks up and breaks out the Lifebuoy.

But you have to hand it (no pun intended) to the industry, much as they spurred the Internet video revolution once before, they're coming (again, no pun intended) to the plate and moving America forward again.

So when you're renewing the subscription to your favorite site, choosing an ID based on a reviled ex, and clicking on the Alcatraz Assplay channel, be sure to thank your local elected official! Better yet, send them a trial subscription, just on the off-chance they don't have one...