Today's news, in sonnet.

Apparently chimney exhaust
means a successful papal vote.
So now the Catholics have a boss.
(Or they've just cleaned the creosote.)

A shocker at the Bolton meeting,
more debate after vacation.
But the smiles may be fleeting.
Will this stop the next invasion?

For those of you with an account
or brokerage with Ameritrade
as ID theft and losses mount,
maybe you should sell lemonade.

And with Time's cover, I must guess
that Scorpius and Pinhead's next.