Dec 12, 2004

It's the Halliburton holiday party! (part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2

I had polished off my second generous Grey Goose and cranberry, which was a good thing, since my mouth began to throb as the siguls worked overtime. That could only mean one thing: the keynote speech.

The guest of honor received a standing ovation, with loud applause from the people and mushy claps from the tentacled guests. His bald head gleamed in the spotlight, exceeded only by his brilliant grin.

"Well," he said with a smile, "I haven't received a reception like that since the last stockholder meeting." Obligatory laughter followed.

"It's been a good year for us all, and I want to thank everyone for coming, especially those of you with actual purple hearts."

"I won't be long, since dinner's being served, I just want to thank you all for your support this year. It was rough, but in the end, we managed to show everyone exactly what it means to be in charge. You all deserve a round of applause."

This brought on a round, with hearty whoops and a jet of flame from the dragon in the rear.

"Now, I want everyone to dig in, and don't worry, we're not serving waffles! Thank you."

The crowd roared its approval.

"He has to keep it short," the bartender muttered. "The vortices interfere with his pacemaker."

Well, that was a relief, because another five minutes and I would have to skip dinner. I asked for a glass of ice and sucked on the cubes for a bit as the ache faded.

Everyone else was tearing into dinner, and for some people that was literal. The main dish looked to rich for me (veal stuffed with foie gras and caviar, garnished with euro notes), so I stuck to a couple of the unicorn croquettes. They weren't bad, thanks to the apple-pomegranite sauce. Side dish was green beans almondine. I guess they wanted to keep something traditional.

The main dessert was disappointing, too. Baked Alaska. No, really, a chunk of Alsakan wilderness baked. I went to the ice cream bar instead. It would've been better if Rush Limbaugh wasn't hogging the line, trying to work his golden mortar and pestle while loading up on Rocky Road.

"Oh, why couldn't we get Ben and Jerry," he groaned. "Their Oatmeal Cookie Crunch made me want to vote for Lieberman..."

Kind of a letdown, really. I stuck with a last cup of coffee instead.

To be concluded...