Something that will never happen.

It looks like next month that the credit card companies will get a prolonged financial orgasm courtesy of our government. Wouldn't it be nice if they were gracious in victory?

Here's my thought: they're so concerned about unpaid debt, how about if they tightened their standards just the teensiest bit? I'm not talking about rejecting credit card applications per se, just that maybe getting a credit card shouldn't be easier than breathing. How many applications do you get a week in the mail? Five? Ten? And of the millions of applications sent out a week, how many are (1) returned, and (2) will actually be helpful for the person returning it?

Since more often than not, credit card applications in the mail are as welcome as a jalapeno in your saline solution, how about this?

All credit card companies voluntarily reduce their mailings by 25% within a year.

Now, I'm all for free enterprise, and I don't believe that they should be forced to reduce advertising. I also don't think it will help an iota in reducing the amount of consumer debt. I just think that an empty, almost meaningless gesture like this might just help people believe that credit card companies aren't entirely greedy scumbags.

But that's me.

Next time on Something that will never happen: Rick Santorum kicks off the 2006 Andres Serrano Art Festival.