Jan 7, 2008

"Son, you don't have to fight to be a man."

As Bill Cosby might say, I would like to tell you a story.

I remember one time when I was six or so, I was picking on my brother. I had absolutely no reason to do so, except I was six years old and acting like a douche bag. I was smacking at my brother, and daring him to hit me. "Come on, hit me back! Come on!"

My brother wasn't really into it, and just wanted to be left alone. But I kept provoking him. Over and over and over and over and over*SMACK*

He had had enough, and let me know with a smack in the face.

And I ran away crying like AJ Soprano.

So, what lessons can we learn from this? Well, say, for example, you're a TV pundit with a habit of bullying people and sexually harassing employees. And say you decide to act like an unbelievable douche bag against someone who really doesn't want to fight. Well, sooner or later, you're going to get called on it.

Douche bag.