Today's news, in sonnet.

With a wave of presidential magic
Fearless Leader pledges billions certain.
For each dollar to a victim tragic,
several thousand doled to Halliburton.

Scientific breakthroughs can be groovy
when they leap from science fiction's pages.
If you have to imitate a movie,
why on Earth pick one of Nicolas Cage's?

So you want to take some dough from Tyco?
Guess you must enjoy the smell of prison.
Now you're dining with a bunch of psychos.
Do you still agree with your decision?

To the owner of a franchise storied:
Thanks for bringing Jersey hockey glory.