Today's news, in sonnet.

Our president has caused a stir
by putting Bolton in this place.
So now he's called Ambassador
instead of Mister Walrusface.

Our astronauts will don the suits
to rush Discovery's overhaul.
And I still look for an excuse
to avoid painting bathroom walls.

Say after a tour of duty
you're in a election race.
You'll be slandered by this loony
drug-distended basket case.

Apple's new mouse shows, you see,
they've entered 1993.