TRIIII-UM-PHANT CHAMPION OF ITHACA!!!!

With the exception of a few critical-darling bands either picked up by osmosis or via my cooler siblings, my musical tastes can be charitably described as terrible. Indeed, my library and tastes lean towards progressive rock, that bastard offspring of Beethoven and bluster that the other musical branches stuff in the gym locker and trip in the hallways.

Now, I thought I heard some jaw-dropping pretension before, but thanks to the wonder of iTunes streaming radio, I've now tuned into Progged Radio, which now runs through my earphones whenever my computer is on, and let me tell you, if you haven't started playing your MMORPGs to it, what are you waiting for?

People who think songs should be in one time signature and under five minutes should avoid this like a moldy pecan log, since the bands here make Rush sound like Cannibal Corpse. There's Symphony X, whose chorus from their twenty-four minute retelling of Homer's The Odyssey provides the title of this post. There's The Gathering, who was doing Evanescence's schtick in 1995. There's a few dozen bands from Norway, for some reason. And there's all 143 side projects of King's X (which pales in comparison to the 306 side/solo projects of Dream Theater members and ex-members).

I mean, where else can you hear the news that Queensrÿche is planning its long-awaited sequel to 1988's magnum opus Operation: Mindcrime to be called...wait for it...Operation: Mindcrime II? This more than makes up for the Buckaroo Banzai sequel we got screwed out of.

Why yes, I wear glasses, why do you ask?