As a single man...

...I just want to make it perfectly clear that I am not, repeat, NOT this person.

I am also not, repeat, NOT, any of the people listed on this show.

Maybe I should incorporate these statements into my online dating profiles.

And, as is customary when I refer to my online dating life, a reminder that eHarmony sucks.

All right, who pissed in Steve Jobs' granola?

Man, Steve and Apple have been making some bad moves recently. Not Cube moves, granted, just real dicky ones.

The first one was about a nine-year-old iPod fan who wrote to Apple with some of her ideas. Apple responded with a bitchy form letter that made her cry. Real nice. At least they apologized and are working on their corporate policy for future responses (how about NOT MAKING LITTLE GIRLS CRY), but come on. When I was a kid, I used to mail Atari (about the Yars' Revenge and Adventure easter eggs) and I always got a nice response. Of course, they were probably high at the time.

Then you have Steve Jobs changing his mind and not writing the intro to Steve Wozniak's biography. Come on, man. The guy helped you build a billion-dollar company. You can give him 500 words. Sheesh.

Hope he's not getting too cocky. I remember the pre-iMac days of Apple, the fall can come pretty fast...

They should just change the name already...

Look, I know it's an important scientific discovery, but...*sigh*...

I wonder how astronomers deal with it...

Won't you be my neighbor?

I'm sure Nevsky, CmdrSue, and lucretius are thrilled about who just changed his legal residence to Virginia! Guys, don't worry, that stench about him is mostly figurative from corruption, and maybe one or two Krystal burgers...